You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
