I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
