Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Less talking, more tequila
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
