Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
