Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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