woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Randomize
