Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
