She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
