He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
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Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
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I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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