she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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