The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
