sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
