u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
do nipples grow back?
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