awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
