So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
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Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
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I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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