We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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