its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
last night I used snow as a chaser
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
