hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
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I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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