Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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