as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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