I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
