Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
