6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Randomize
