We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize