Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
