I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I am mentally ready for anal.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
