Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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