he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize