Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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