Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
