he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
