you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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