You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize