...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so