The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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