in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
