ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
