Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
