1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
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Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize