i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
That reminds me...we need to get swords
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
