Please, let me fuck your mom
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
