i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
