I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Shame - the story of my life.
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