so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I don't want my vagina anymore.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
