is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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