butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I wanna bring you to show and tell
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
