1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
