We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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