Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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