No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
