the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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