We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
