I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
