I can't breathe out the right side of my face
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
