Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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