You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Watching her eat just hurts me
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
