Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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