whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
