I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
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